What causes a tormented memory?

For some, it may be the death of a loved one, others a bad experience. For Pollard and Chase, their tormenting memories came from their experiences on the ship Essex and the events that took place on it. People deal with their memories differently; Chase decided to keep a log of his experiences. He thought he would never be able to be free of the tormenting memory unless he got his story out.

After the ship wreck, Pollard was able to in a way forgive the whale went on another whaling expedition. Even though that second time didn’t go well, he was able to find a kind of healing through going back on the ocean. Someone in class equated it with falling off the horse and getting back on. That comment reminded me of when I was a kid and learning to ride a bike without training wheels. I lived in Arizona, on a narrow road with cactus on either side. As many people do when learning to ride a bike I fell and landed on the cactus. For a few weeks, I didn’t want to try to ride again, because I was afraid of falling again. Eventually with the help of my mom I realized that I needed to face my fears and get back on my bike. There was something freeing in being able to accomplish something after a bad experience. I think that Pollard would have felt the same way I did after I got back on my bike and it gave him a kind of peace from his tormenting memory. Chase never did find peace, had horrible headaches, and died insane.


Keith Anderson's "Every time I hear your name?" reminded me of the idea of a tormented memory. He thinks he is doing ok and then something triggers it and you are haunted by that memory.







My Own Tormenting Memory:
In class, Suzanne asked us to think of our own tormenting memory and how we think about it. My memory deals with my uncle who passed away in 2008. But before I tell you what it entails, I need to fill you in on some details about my relationship with him. His name is Robert, and after my parents got divorced him and my aunt became like another set of parents to me and my sister. We would spend weeks during the summer at their house, and they even went on family vacations with my sister, dad and me. We had a close relationship with them until my grandmother passed away. After she passed, a rift was created in my family. Because of a large fight between everyone in my family, I stopped talking to my aunt and uncle and was very upset with everything that was going on. I allowed this fight to affect our relationship and I quit talking to him. The last day I saw him, I left him bitter and mad at him. It torments me that I never reconciled with him and that I can now never fix our relationship. I allow myself to think about the memory, but a lot of times I choose not to because it makes me sad that I held a grudge and ruined the last day I ever had with him. This memory affects my dreams and the dreams come out of nowhere and catch me off guard.

"Nantucketers saw no contradiction between their livelihood and their religion. God Himself had granted them dominion over the fishes of the sea." (pg. 9) The people of Nantucket were Quaker and therefore nonviolent people, yet the men on the whaling ships were violent, greedy and brutal. I think it is very interesting that Quakers are pacifists and yet they thought it was ok to brutally murder whales and even praised those who were on those expeditions.

We also discussed in class how the whale acted with the vindictiveness of a man. The whale was given human qualities. Asma said that “human qualities in monsters must mean monster qualities in us.” I thought this was a very interesting way of thinking about the men aboard the Essex. Were they trying to kill the whale because they saw something in the whale that was also inside of them? We lose superiority when the whale can be vengeful and angry. If we humanize the whale, than it is like killing another person because the whale can show emotions like humans can.
Some may take the view that the whale was revolting against a kind of tyranny, sort of a “give me liberty or give me death” kind of statement. It could be considered that the whale’s attack was calculated because no whale had ever attacked a ship before this time.


Another thing that I found ironic was that the crew of whalers made for the coast of South America which was 3,000 miles away in 3 tiny boats to avoid the closest island because their feared cannibals. They themselves had to resort to cannibalism because they were starving to death and began feeding off of each to in order to survive. The idea of cannibalism brings about questions in our own minds about whether we would be able to do something like that in order to survive. I don’t know how I would react when put in a situation like that, but I think the instinct to survive would prevail above all else.

Character traits from two leaders:

Pollard Chase
Democratic confident
Sloppy bragging
Weak Flexible: more men survive
More emotional, invested in people Diligent: controlling food supply
More logical, keeps log

Fight Club:

At the beginning of the movie, Jack is introduced as a corpselike corporate drone whose only idea of pleasure is about consumer goods from Ikea. He looks empty with dark circles under his eyes. He was alive but not really living, just going through the motions of his day unable to even sleep. Someone in class pointed out that you are never more yourself than when you are sleeping. I had never though about it like that and thought it was a very interesting point.

When Tyler is introduced he becomes a sort of cure for Jack and helps him begin to really start living. Tyler gives Jack advice and told him that “things you own end up owning you.” I find this to be very good advice as most of our society is consumer based on material possessions. Tyler has some ideas that are very Emersonian. The idea that you should not follow what society wants for you and to make your own future is one of them. Tyler displays that by not being materialistic to the point that his house was falling apart and he had to shut off the electric every time it rained. He lives simplistically to live life to the fullest. He wants to feel so he has Jack punch him. It takes violence to free them both from the drone of their lives. They also use the violence of fight club as a vehicle of self- formation and Jack feels more empowered through fight club.

Questions:
What definitions of evil govern the men of the Essex?


Music video by Keith Anderson performing Every Time I Hear Your Name. (C) 2005 BMG Music